| camping |
[Jun. 20th, 2007|10:25 pm] |
so yeah last weekend i went camping. it was wonderful, i mean come on! I'm Stephanie Astonishing it's not like I would want to anything other then sit around a fire alday smelling of sweat and bug spray, getting eatten alive. ok i do need to give it a little more credit, they had a really nice bathhouse, and i sat in there most of the time, because a. it had a plug so i could charge my phone. b. it had good service so i could talk on my phone. c. it was cooler.
but yeah i did you fun stuff...I taned..i read 2 Brad Meltzer books while i tanned...i went for a tub trip down the river while i tanned....and i went skeet shooting and ended up sitting in the truck because it hurt my houlder like woah.
anywhoooo now i'm in FL visiting my grandparents...they picked me up at the airport and surprised me with a weekend stay at the Ritz-Carlton in Sarasota....so yeah i'm very happy
tomorrow is shoppinf day and i can't wait! one full day of cruising around Tampa with my uber amazing Grandma! yay!
so this afternoon i got to drive the BMW...it made me so happy i giggled lol loudly...anyways right now i'm laying on the floor watching Law and Order and eatting suger free toffee and diet sprit hahahha so yeah i'm gonna run.
peeeace♥ |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 23rd, 2007|11:28 pm] |
oh yeah a thing i forgot to say...
I sorta had to drop out of Fishes and loaves because of conflicts.
So yeah i went in there a few weeks ago and tried VERY hard to be nice while i explained why i was doing what i was doing. What did a get? I CONTRACT SHOVED IN MY FACE! you signed this, you should be in there, omg omg omg, jsdfbnkjafnjladnfjadfldafds
I wasn't my choice y'all it was a most. If i had my way i would still be dancing in the cast. BUT I CAN'T
So i've basicly been kicked out of the cast. Which hurts...a lot. like i didn't know how much it meant to me until it was taken away.
I told Cat form the beginning that there was a chance i couldn't finish the session, she told me do stay in as long as a could. SO WHY DO R&B HATE ME NOW??
I'm still getting e-mails about rehearsols, prayer requests and such, i tried to e-mail and say sorry several times, they didn't reply twice and the third time it bounced back. =[
i remember the first time i saw a show there thats what made me want to become an actress. I remember singing preshow...thats what made me want to sing. I remember the day Becca and Birdie told us we were being forced to moved. I cried my heart out for days. I remember driving past and seeing those bleachers surronding a mudpit. I remember the feeling of accomplishment I, we all, had when we moved into the new building. i remember it all. do they? |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 23rd, 2007|11:00 pm] |
Hi everyone! yes i know it's been 40+ days since the last update. sorry loves won't happen agian. =/
ok lets start where i left off.
my life is now running agian...a little rough in places but hey i'm living.
PMDD sucks. it's not getting better, and no matter how many different teas i drink, foods i eat, or hours i sleep it stays the same. The doc. said to fill out a chart with symtoms...depression, lack of interest, nerves, giddiness, headaches, blurry vision, ect. FOR 2 EFFING MONTHS...then come back for a treatment plan....wth? i don't need a treatment plan 60 days from now. i needed it weeks ago!!
My panic attacks are getting worse, 2 or 3 a week now. (compaire at 1 every 4 or 5 weeks) if any of you knew how things we're fall '04 spring '05 thats how it is now....except i don't have calmers this time...so whenever one hits all i can do is lay down, and prey it passes quickly.
I had one while driving the other day...i over corrected and nearly hit a truck... my heart skipped a beat and the next thing i know i'm hunched over the steering wheel crying while my mom is screaming for me to pull over. i managed to pull into a drive way and sat clinging the wheel for a while.
My mom thinks it has a lot to do with PMDD so she won't get calmers for me. so now i can't just sleep them off. I lay down whereever i am and shake and cry and scream. I've learned not to try to hold any emotions in....if i'm in public and i get one i get somewhere quiet and i freak until i'm exausted, even then they're lasting up to 2 hours.
kjnaslkjndfajfsla
Guys and Dolls Jr. is opening in 8 days. meep!! we are so not ready.
Kso the big stuff.
Anna Fabulous and Amy Popular graduated saturday. I made Anna a photoalbum of our friendship i cried everytime i worked on it. jknadjfnladn I'm going to miss them so much next year!! I wish my mom would let me skip 3 grades so i could go with them. I don't think i'll be able to survive on my own! I mean who am i going to call when Hannah goes missing at 3 am? Anna! and whats she going to do 3 hours away? djnsjffls
My phone says Justinissexy and everytime i turn it on it say i love justin it makes me giggle...and i hadn't changed it in so long i forgot how. so my mom was using my phone today and now my parents think i'm dating justin lol
gah i love my parents even though my mom is weird and my dads about as cool as acne.
anyways. today was my first real day of work (not training) it went well. I'm working every day for the rest of the week which makes me happy =D
so yeah anyways Imma go watch the devil wears prada...agian... |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 8th, 2007|08:26 pm] |
Soooo yeah I'm having a really weird day right now....
I went to church and sang in choir(not weird) then I came home and ate(not weird) Then I sat on my bed and knit-no music or anything (weird) Then I went with my family to the park (not weird) Then I can home and sat on my bed and and knit and watched all the Jane Austan movies I owed (really weird) soooo yeah....hmmm....idk whats gotten into me....
anyways....
Stuff That Every Single One Of You Needs To Come To
*Broadway In The Park, Me and Amy are singing a duet together and it's going to be pretty much amazing. April 19th 6:30-8:00 (msg for directions)FREE *Teens Alternative Theatre show Me and my friend Anna put this group together a few months ago and this is are first show. We're playing a set from 7:00-7:45 on the 14th of April. FREE *Guys and Dolls, I'm during this with theh RHCT and is going to be performed at SPHS, the first 2 weekends in June, Times and Prices TBA
SO you I'm pretty sure you need to come to all of those. =] |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 19th, 2007|12:52 pm] |
So I'm hating myself right now. everything about me. My additude. My looks. My voice. My beliefs. The only good thing about me anymore are my friends. And I feel like I'm losing one of the most important people. Hannahs been getting in so much trouble over the last month over really stupid stuff. So now we can only talk like really late around 2 or 3am and I've been so sick latly I can't stay up that late most nights. She deserves so much better then what shes getting, I keep telling her to take a break from her family and move in with me for the summer. But her parents won't even concider it.
idk.
These past few weeks have been awful. Alex will start texting me to pick a fight and she started spreding rumers about me at NWP, and now her friends are bugging me.
whatever I don't care anymore. everyone could go jump off a cliff and I probably wouldn't care....SEE???? thats what I'm talking about! I used to be so caring. I really did. I hated seeing people in pain even if it was their fault. But now if someone other then Anna, Amy, Steph, Hannah, Jordan, or Matt tell me that they're having a hard time, or they're hurting I'm just like oh well they brought that upon themselfs.
What is going on with me? I've become detached completly. I was so sick of the fighting and the drama that it's like I thought if I don't care about those people it will stop effecting me....wrong! it still does, and theres nothing I can do to get away from it.
I had an emotion breakdown on sunday. It started off with Jordan, but then it led to more stuff, and the next thing I know I'm feeling empty agian.
gaaaaaah I can't take this. I just want to go somewhere. for the summer, for a year, anything. I can't stand being around this place, and these people. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 19th, 2007|11:50 am] |
Sooo the play ended last night.
It went well.
A few mistakes here and there but other then that all was wonderful.
after the show we took down the set, and headed to the Tim and Raches house for a cast party. It was weird cause they just bought/moved into Marys old house. So the entire time I was there I was thinking about all the superbowl partys I went to there lol.
but yeah anyways.
Last night I got home and layed on the couch and texted for like an hour while My brother watched some space alian moving.
Then whenever he went to bed around 10 I tried to watch Will and Grace but nothing was funny to me and it seemed really stupid. So i turned on Law and Order and watch four episodes. So then I tried to go to bed around 2ish so I'm laying in my bed coughing and my mom comes in around 3:30 and made me take meds like a lot of them. So then I tried to paint my nails and that didn't work out so well so I tried to knit but my hands started shaking so I was losing stiches. So I tried to read but I kept losing my place.
So of course the internet haaad to be down. So I layed in bed and I was almost asleep when my parents shower goes on. So I look at my phone and it's 6 o'clock.
So I went into the kichen and took 4 sleepings and crashed lol.
My mom tried to wake me up like three times this morning but I would try to stand up and just fall over hahaha. anyways.
Fishes and Loaves practices start tonigh yippie!!!! haha yeeeeeah so I'm pretty sure that I just need like a one week break before I dive into another play but oh well.
At least I'm never bored? |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 11th, 2007|07:25 pm] |
Since I'm already on here I decided to update you guys on Jordan and Karissa.
wow it seems like years ago since they ran away. But really it's only been two monthes. basically they're being held in GA till the trail. I'm not sure about Rissa but Jordan is being tried as an adult. Right now march can't come soon enough for me. I was him home now. I can't stand the thought of him locked up, and depressed.
He's on charges of armed robbary, and something that has to do with driving without a licence, underage possestion of a gun, and threataing somebody with a gun. I'm praying that he will be out of there in the time he turns 18 but right now IDK whats going to happen. I'm trying to write him as often ass I can but with everything that is going on I'm not doing that great of a job of doing so.
For those of you who know Jordan and his family you guys are prolly praying already. But to those of you who don't please pray, both him and Rissa need it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 11th, 2007|12:18 pm] |
Last night the Rock Hill Community Theatre burned to the ground.
I got the call from the Thrifts around 5:30, but didn't catch the phone intime to pick up. About 10 minutes later my mom came in to give me cough meds and I told her that they called and she was like well just call them back and make sure they're ok. So I called back and Mrs. Thrift picked up and asked for my dad. So I took the phone into my parents room and gave the phone to my dad. I was walking back to my room when I heard him say 'The Theatres on fire??' I sat down in the middle of my parents hall way and just sat there crying. My dad then said he would be there in a few minutes and I got up and threw some clothes on and went with him to watch my secound home burn to the ground.
We got to the theatre around 5:40 and parked in a lot a block down the street. There was smoke bilowing up above the houses that blocked my view of the theatre. My dad got out and told me to stay in the car until he knew what was going on. He came back 15 minutes later and told me to stay close to him. He walked me up the street, and the secound the remains came into view I stood there in shock.
It was gone, all that remained was the stone walls the tall steple had caved in and nothing was left of the costume closet that held costumes that were the life of the play. In the corner of the building I could see the tech room. The window had blown out and sparks were flying. I strained my neck so I could see the back dressing room. the roof was caved in, and I could only emagen what the interer looked like. All of Annas hard work that she poured into those costumes were in turn pouring out into the clear night sky. I couldnt see inside for the walls stood firm at the time. I didn't get to see my beloved stage agian. I could only imagen what it looked like, fallen in, burning, still set up from that show that was being performed eight hours before. I shut my eyes trying to block the scene. But it only came to me agian, worse then before, for instead of just a sunken in stage, I saw the cast, on the stage attemting to do our 'wave bow' I saw Buff slaping my butt, I watch the comical scenes from the dinner theatre, I saw auditon after audition, play after play, cast after cast, I saw my life, the one I had always dreamed of having, being consumed like the remaining flames consumed the build. I shook my head, forcing the thoughts to leave me. I turned to trhe man my dad was talking to, the cheif investagater. I hung back from the conversation, I didn't trust my voice enough to speak. after about 45 minutes he gave my dad permision to drive to the other side tos ee the view from there.
I went with him and when se got to the other side it took my breath away. I could see almos the whole building, smoke was everywhere, a small fire had started at the corner of the sign, I sat the gasping for breath almost wishing I hadn't come. But the I realized that if I hadn't come I wouldn't have been able to say goodbye, I took a mental picture of the building surronded by firetrucks and police cars, I will never forget how the theatre looked last night
Well thats all I can write. I'm going to be leaving to head down there in a few minutes. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 1st, 2007|12:40 am] |
Kso as of 9am on the 25th i am 15 years old. yay! lolz Christmas was wonderful. I got a(nother) MP3 player from my aunt and uncle who never talk to me. an amazing video camrea from my darling parents, as well as the most amazing book ever written, it's all about the musical Wicked and the stars/writing/designers. it's incredable. Pink Spiders/Kill Hannah tickets/ride up there from my brother. black nail polish from my sister. and more gift cards/clothes/cash/DVDs/books/knitting needle/yarn/lotion/ and earrings then i know what to do with.
This morning when my sister woke me up we went out to the family room and set to work on the prezzys I made everyone open the ones from me first, because that is my favorite part of Christmas and I couldn't wait a secound longer. But when people started to give me presents I really loved them (ex. the Wicked stuff) but after we finished and had breakfast and such I felt awful. I mean there are so many people in this country that didn't get any presents, or clothes, or even a breakfast. and I'm sitting here with more then enough. I want to do something for them so badly but I don't know what i can do. I'm broke almost all of the time, and I'm just one person. How much of a difference can I make?
My parents supplied me with a TON of Knitting stuff, so when i wanted to just think I started Knitting, I didn't have a plan to what i'm knitting or anything i was just doing it. My mom came in and told me that the yarn I was using was like the yarn my Grandmother would use to make baby blankets, so then i got the idea to make baby blankets for the CPC, so I start like power knitting and when i want to I can knit FAST but even at that rate it will take at least 4 days to make just one blanket. So idk what to do now, i guess I'll stick with this idea till I can think of something better...
anywayssssss.....
i just got back from Lukes party && am at Annas so i'm gonna goooooooo
Happy New Year!!!!!!!
♥ |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 22nd, 2006|05:36 pm] |
So Jordan and Karissa got caught yesterday. I was happy/sad. I really hope everything turns out ok. and that they don't get it to hard. Ham spent the night the night we found out about the robbary, we stayed up most the night just crying and talking, and the more she talked about him the more i cried. We walked to the lake the next morning to try to calm down some. and when we got home she had to leave. then i went and hung out with Anna.
3 days till my birthday!! i can't wait 15! gosh it's sorta scary to think about. I'll be driving. My curfew gets bumped back at least an hour later. and i'll be able to use a knife at work =P
We found out more about boarding school. and the more i look at it the more i want to go. I really do think it would be the best thing for me. I'm auditioning for the summer program thsi spring and will hopfully get in. I'm also looking into NCSA for their summer program. but it's 8 to 12 weeks and I don't know if i could do that.
well I'm going to go finish my ginger bread house.
peace. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 16th, 2006|02:00 pm] |
eeeeeh i don't know what to doooooo My parents asked if i wanted to audition for the Governors school and told me that i could go to their school year drama program. but I would have to move. And like live at the school. and and and I would be away from everyone i knew like all the time. And i said well i don't know i would like to do a serius program like that but i don't know if i want to move like 3 hours away. So they told me that I can go to the summer program and see how i like it and then i would have a whole year to think about it cause the drama program is only for Jr. and Sr.
It's like I know it would be a great experiance and it's the best training I'll be able to get in SC, not to meation how it would look on my resume. But even though I don't exactly love RH I know it will be hard to leave it...
IDK I have a year to think and train for it. I'm just hoping that if this is what i end up wanting to do i don't screw up this oppertunity.
/dies. life is so hard. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 8th, 2006|07:45 pm] |
I had a panic attack today. it was awful i cried more than i have in ages i want my parents to give me calmers but they're scared about what happened last time will happen agian. idk. whatever. i'm used to it. i'll just keep on freaking out over the smallest thing. /rolls eyes.
i did OCC today. i'll write about it later. peace |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 5th, 2006|05:20 pm] |
So... i'm running away to New York With Ham You think i'm kidding? I'm taking my violin and i'll play on the street corners for money. and soon as christmas is over i'm out of here i'll be able to follow my dreams. get on Broadway and do what i love most...perform Ham will meet up with Scott and we'll all be happy. we want to try to get our parents to let us go for a few weeks, maybe if we can find someone to go with. but if they say no....i'm not sure i could take that for an answer... i'm so sick of this town. of the people. There should be more to life then Myspace and hanging out at Manchester. and though i hate to say it i'm starting to get sick of the theatre. i mean theres so much drama off stage it's really unprofessional. How would it look it i get a chance to audition somewhere big and i'll i have on my resume is. (name of play) done by the RHCT?? i mean yeah i've done a lot of play but only cause theres not that many people that can act here. and for me to be able to improve i need to be pushed i need to have a reason, compationan. but all i have here is the PTG group. I'm ashamed to say it but I'm started to get lazy in the way i perform. It's like i'm not worried about other people "beating me" so i slack. idk. i want to get to a big city, so i can be "just another actress" so i have to push and really work at it so i can be " that awesome lead in that musical" or whatever. I want to have to improve, i crave the stage. I don't really think that anybody understands how i feel when i'm up on the stage, exept maybe Ham, cause thats how she feels when she modals, I mean it gives me energy. A reason to keep going. I don't want to stay here all my life. I don't want to go to Winthrop, and just do commuinty theatre my whole life. i want to go to New york, test the water i guess you could say, finish high school, then go to North Carolina School of the Arts, then head back to New York. /shrugs idk i'm hoping that we'll figure this out, i mean just if i could go up there one semester to see if i could land a part. that would be enough. i want to prove to people that i can do it, that i can make it. that I have what it takes and that i don't take no for an answer. I want to show people that i'm will to learn, i'm willing to bend, and gosh dang it if i have to I'll even dance pointe agian if thats what it takes.
/end of rant |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 17th, 2006|10:18 am] |
I'm really bored so i'm writing in here
I haven't slept for days and i think that i'm sick
I'm going to be in a play later tomorrow to raise money for homeless people
I'm stay over at Annas tonight 'cause shes in it as well
I'm going to Charlies play tomorrow and can't wait
Angie my camper from Camp Joy called I love her so much, she is sooooo sweet.
My emotional life has been a wreck and i'm not sure how to fix it.
Help me? |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 3rd, 2006|05:25 pm] |
Ok as you can tell i havn't been on much in the past month but why should i? so i can show my raw emotions to the world naw that's not my thing I don't show my emotions (or at least my true ones) to barely anyone so to keep things short, i'll say this I'm not going to be on much any more No that doesn't mean delete mean It simply mean quit asking me to post, i mean if your going to take the time to ask me to post to the world how life is why not ask how i really am? yeah anyways.
my life is fine my love life is a different story
there my emotions happy? good me to that felt good /giggles ok well i'll post in a week or two. byes |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 20th, 2006|02:42 pm] |
So right now i'm hurting pretty bad, i went to a dance work shop on saturday wow that was fun, nothing like dancing for 7 hours straight, so Debbie Allen Dance Acadamy set it up. and she was there, wow she was amazing, her bio was so long i got bored reading it. lol but she's been in musicals, broadway shows, shes directed, taught you name it, her sister was there to and she acts she played the mom on the cosby show, wow she was so funny, i liked her a lot. anyways. her brought in a lady from russia who taught ballet, but she underestamated us and the class wasn't that great cause it was so easy, but she had us do a TON of jumps so my calves and ankels are killing me right now. OH yeah then she had us streach...yeah not good.....after she sat on me me i was feeling it everywhere, my legs, back, neck. who would think 100 pounds would do all that? My Hip-Hop teacher has us Nellys instructer, yeah i was like wow hello! but he was pretty much amazing, and was really awesome. The Tap teachers were a double team and the guy start the tap festival in seatlle maybe? i don't remember but he was wonderful. the african teacher was great but i didn't end up doing that class cause i did Jazz instead. Jazz....wow...lol Debbie Allen taught it and she danced the retean two times that watched us do it cut time, them put us in two group and played the music. oh yeah then she ripped us apart!! but i learned so much from her!!!
So them i went hiking with my family, Izzi and Jesse yesterday we climbed in the river, and up hlls and all over the place, James thought it was funny to push me while i was in the water, i would fall under, and get swept away, and pop up ten yards away when i would crash into a rock. yeah i look like i was in a car reck. i have bruises everywhere. and my legs look like i just learned to shave lol. so between dance and that i can barley move. so yeah but it was fun and i learned a ton...
They doing seating tonight in chamber....i told the conducter that i wanted, no i needed to be last stand, but she just said, "we'll see" i was thinking about screwing uo my piece so she'll sit in the back but i'm bad enough already if i screw up more she'll probably kick me out haha. well i'm going to run now. peace |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 19th, 2006|12:52 pm] |
Kso i havn't posted in more then two weeks or something like that Ok so i'm the world laziest person ever sue me so i'll start were i left off
The Beach ended up being like totally great. I got in the water one day Then I started to get tired and my brother, being the real funny guy he is start attacking me and dunking me and yeah i paniced and totally flipped out and about started crying, so i got out and dry off and go do something i'm good at...tanning...so yeah it all went well. my hair is close to a dirty blond now, ew. i need to dye it.
So Nikki and I went Parasailing. and thursday. so say the least it was amazing. we went up about 400 ft in the air, and normaly i was flip, but something about how we were over water calmed me down. Nikki shed a few tear but when i told her to shut up...she did. surprising i know.
It took us ages to get home we left at 8 and we didn't get back to late that night. i was like um no this isn't cool.
So we started school a week and a day ago. it's awful. I can't do any of my math...or my english....or grammer....and even my historys super hard gaaah history is not hard...so why is it?? lol that didn't make any sence.
So yeah i auditioned from Strom in Limbo, but since the youngest part is 30something, and Vitos casting it to age. i didn't get a large part. so i'm like a prop person ect. so yeah at least i'll get to watch him work, only two rehearsals into it and he's already blown me away.
Auditions for David Copperfield were tuesday and thursday and they're tonight as well. then he'll be send out the cast list tomorrow and we'll be diving into that later on that month.all like yay about that because my life is so boring, i can't wait for DC practices to really start up so i can throw myself into it. lol
Yeah last week i started a sign language class at the Coffee House, but tonights theres last night, and i can't go tonight cause daddy needs help with auditions, paperwork, reading, inprove, ect. so i'm going with him tongiht. so i guess i'll hold off on sign language till they start up again later this month.
My mom got me a sign language program to download onto the computer but since mine is screwing up, thats going to need to hold on till later as well
So yeah, my computers been down for almost a weeks and it's killing me. so i've been sitting in my room writting like 24/7 so yeah
kso this was like the longest post ever and now i'm going to go and try to get some school done.
bye loves &hearts |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 14th, 2006|11:54 am] |
btw i saw 6 shooting stars, i made a wish on everyone. /giggles i love stars. kso bye |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 14th, 2006|11:31 am] |
So i'm in the outer banks right now. 9 hours drive....yay! lol so i had a ton of time to think about the last week and i've desided the only thing i can really say about it is that I can't explain how strong of an experiance Camp Joy is. I pity everyone who hasn't been. With out realizing it Angie (my camper) change some of the ways i veiw things. No where else in the world will you be able to go and just enjoy the simple things, no where else are you going to be able to see 30 40 50 year olds, sing Jesus Loves Me and really, listen to the words. i was blown away by Angies faith. Sure there were a few times the i questioned weather she actully understood or if she was just sayng the right answers because she knows them, but within 5 minutes that thought was gone. I have realize that it's the simple faiths that really matter.
Anyways...
So yes the outer bank....soooo pretty i love just standing there and staring at the water. It's so blue and clear. i love it...i love being around the ocean, staring at it for hours, watching every wave crash onto the shore, washing out everything in its way well at least i love looking at it. I have realized that i hate Hate HATE getting in the ocean, i used to love getting in over my head and swimming around until i was so tired i could barley float any longer, but so faw the deepest i've gotten in is up to my knees, and that was pushing it. I don't know why i don't like it anymore. i don't know maybe it's because i feel helpless, like the ocean is so big that it was swollow me whole. and what would it matter? idk. i know it's not the water that scares me, i've been around water all my life. i guess it's just the ocean. but there is like so much to do here, the house we're staying at it amazing, we're with my whole family, aunts uncles ect. so i've been watching Max, Owen and Anna most of the time to give Tom and Amy a break, it's been fun. we have a pool table in our house and i've actully learned how to play lol it's awesome, i played my brother about 30 times yesterday, (he won all of them...of course lol) but yeah it's been good, so yeah i'm sitting here in the public library getting some pretty dirty looks for being on here so much, but hey it's not my problem that they only have like what 3 computers, but anyways i better go. i'll be back saturday or sunday, so i'll prolly write a few more time before i come home. peace |
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